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5 Tips For When You Feel Like An Outsider or Like You Don't Belong

What to do when you feel like you just don't fit in

by Catherine Pratt
www.Life-With-Confidence.com

Do you feel like an outsider, like you don’t belong anywhere or that you just don’t fit in?

I spent a lot of my life feeling like an outsider. The good news is that we’re in very good company. In reading autobiographies of some of the most famous people, one of the statements you’ll commonly see is, “I felt like an outsider.” People like: Nicole Kidman, Anthony Hopkins, Walt Disney, and Maria Shriver are just a few. Even Tom Cruise was teased as a child because he had dyslexia and so felt he didn’t fit in.

I also just read a short autobiography on Ronnie Burkett. Ronnie has been declared “a genius” in some circles for his amazing theatre work using puppets. I saw one of his shows awhile back and they truly are heart wrenching as well as thought provoking. Turns out, the only reason he discovered this talent was because at the age of 7 he felt like an outsider and ended up reading the encyclopedia because he was so unhappy. One of the articles that captivated him was on puppets and thus started a whole new life for Ronnie.

While it’s good to know we’re in good company, it also helps to know how to deal with these feelings.

Here are 5 tips for when you feel like an outsider or that you just don’t belong anywhere.

1. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself
Often, it’s really only your own mind and emotions that tell you that you don’t fit in. You may actually fit in fine, you just feel like an outsider. It definitely doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

It’s important to know that feeling like you don’t belong isn’t always a bad thing either. A lot of famous celebrities say that being an outsider actually helped them. It allowed them to concentrate on their own ambitions and goals without feeling like they had to conform to other people's standards. They already felt like they didn’t fit in so could do their own thing.

Remember, it’s the people that are unique in this world that make the biggest impact and usually have something truly special to provide.

You don’t want to change yourself just to fit in with a certain group of people. That's where a lot of people go wrong. They end up wanting to gain approval from others and end up losing themselves in the process. You have so much more to offer by being true to yourself.

When you feel like you're not fitting in, ask yourself if it's because of what you're thinking? Are you thinking thoughts like:
I'll never be good enough
I'll never fit in
No one likes me

These thoughts may not even be true. It may be just because you continue to tell yourself these thoughts over and over that they become true for you.

So, if you catch yourself thinking one of these thoughts, turn it around and ask yourself what do you really want? This will get you out of feeling negative about yourself and will give your mind a way to think of some positive action you could take.

2. Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin
There is only one you and it may be time to explore that person and figure out what you like and what makes you happy. Also, figure out if you’re being affected by any limiting beliefs or past anger. You are a truly special person with your own amazing gifts, thoughts, and ideas. Get to know you better. Accept who you are and then start to make yourself the absolute best you can be.

When I first started out to get comfortable with myself, I gave myself the goal of “to be happy, healthy, positive, and to develop and maintain an inner peace.” I had to search deep inside myself to figure out what was going on but it’s definitely been worth it.

The irony is that once you get comfortable in your own skin, you will “fit” in more. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable people are with you. You may also end up asking yourself later why you even wanted to fit in with those people. You'll have moved so far beyond where you are now and see that you have improved so much more than that group of people you originally wanted to accepted by.

You’ll be more accepting of other people and open to new ideas and concepts. You’ll probably also start to find people that are very similar to you. You’ll be able to go through life enjoying every moment because you’re comfortable with yourself and understand yourself. You’ll be more focused on your experiences, your goals, and the beauty you see around you rather than the opinions of a simple few.

3. Let Go of Past Anger
Sometimes it’s because of past hurts that we repel other people. We’re so angry at people that we can’t relate to anyone or only expect the worse from others. Once, I figured out how to let go of my past, I became much more comfortable being me. I found it was easier to get along with other people. Maybe cause I didn't care as much what they thought of me but more likely just because I think people are more affected by the "aura" you give off. So, if you're angry all the time, most people will avoid you and you'll end up only attracting into your life other people who are always angry or who feel like an outsider too.

4. Focus on Your Wants and Desires
Instead of focusing on the problem that you don’t feel like you fit in, try turning it around and focus on what you do want. What do you want to explore, what goals do you have, what do you want to learn? Ask yourself these questions:

• What is your deepest dream?
• What would you love to do?
• Got any places you feel you just have to visit before you die?

Then, go and do it. There are so many incredible and inspiring things in this world to explore. Focus on the positive and the beauty of the world rather than getting caught up in a negative situation. Answering questions like the ones above will provide you with so much more fulfillment than trying to figure out how to fit in. If you just try to fit in, you’re probably not being true to your real self and you won’t be happy for long even if you do manage to “fit in”. But, if you follow your true passion, you will not only be happy, comfortable in your own skin, but will also probably gain the respect of people you never dreamed possible. For some ideas on figuring out what you want to do, "Try a Life Direction".

5. You’re Not the Only One

It’s very easy to feel like you’re the only one who ever feels this way but I’d be willing to bet that just about everyone on this planet has felt like an outcast at some point, or many points, in their life. The next time you’re somewhere where you feel like an outsider, take a look around, there is probably at least one other person who feels the same way you do. How about going over there and saying, “Hello”?

In Summary
The key to handling the situation of “I feel like an outsider” is really all in how you react to that feeling. You can beat yourself up over it or you can become stronger for it. As the biographies of those that have gone through the same feelings show, there can definitely be an advantage to being unique. You are truly special. You just need to let the world see that.

Read more: http://www.life-with-confidence.com/feel-like-an-outsider.html#ixzz1odMfKsdO