This is our year for sure.

This year has been really hard on many of us, myself included. Next year, however, next year...it is our year. This next year we make things work for us, we show each other love and support, acceptance and kindness, strength and vulnerability. We have many challenges ahead of us, but we have the means and the tool to overcome them, to turn them into building blocks to help us achieve our dreams and deepest desires. We have the power. We have the ability to change and steer our fates, and do so in positive ways.
This year tried to take almost everything from me, but i came back harder and stronger. I may not be where i want to be right now, but im changing my ways, my habits, my mentalities, and my attitudes and thus i am changing the outcome of my actions. You can too.
It is important, however, to look back...briefly perhaps...at the year that happened. At the dramas and imperfections and lessons learned. Its important to look back and FORGIVE. Forgive the people that wronged you, forgive the situations and the universe for not being perfect but most importantly YOU MUST FORGIVE YOURSELF. You must look at the mistakes you made, the regrets you may have and say to yourself "i forgive myself for making these mistakes. i forgive myself for not being perfect, or for not acting perfectly. I am human. I am learning. I forgive myself for not being exactly where i want to be right now, life is difficult and there is no guidebook with which to get through it perfectly or unscathed and i am simply doing the best i can at any given time with the information i have. I forgive myself."
This life IS hard. The Buddha said "life is suffering, change is suffering, everything is suffering" while there is a lot more that goes into that, essentially this is true--we live, therefore we suffer in various ways. This is not necessarily a BAD thing however. It simply is, and we try to get through life the best we can with as much happiness as we can get. We can minimize suffering for one another however...act with mindfulness, act with compassion in this new year. Act with a universal gentleness and a strong inner resolve to make this life a beautiful one for all beings, including yourself. "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” We are often too hard on ourselves, remember that universal love is for all things--and that you are part of all.
We can do it. This is our year for sure.



one love.
-obieposi

To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it.

— John Templeton

10 Ways to Love Others

Some guidelines for loving:

1. Tell them about their brilliance. They likely can’t see it and they don’t know its immensity, but you can see it, and you can illuminate it for them.

2. Be authentic, and give others the gift of the real you and a real relationship. Ask your real questions. Share your real beliefs. Go for your real dreams. Tell your truth.

3. Don’t confuse “authenticity” with sharing every complaint, resentment, or petty reaction in the name of “being yourself.” Meditate, write, or do yoga to work through anxiety, resentment, and stress on your own so you don’t hand off those negative moods to everyone around you. Sure, share sadness, honest dilemmas, and fears, but be mindful: don’t pollute.

4. Listen, listen, listen. Don’t listen to determine if you agree or disagree. Listen to get to know what is true for the person in front of you. Get to know an inner landscape that is different from your own, and enjoy the journey. Remember that if, in any conversation, nothing piqued your curiosity and nothing surprised you, you weren’t really listening.

5. Don’t waste your time or energy thinking about how they need to be different. Really. Chuck that whole thing. Their habits are their habits. Their personalities are their personalities. Let them be, and work on what you want to change about you—not what you think would be good to change about them.

6. Remember that you don’t have to understand their choices to respect or accept them.

7. Don’t conflate accepting with being a doormat or betraying yourself. Let them be who they are, entirely. Then, you decide what you need, in light of who they are. Do you need to make a direct request that they change their behavior in some way? Do you need to take care of yourself better? Do you need to set a boundary or to change the relationship? Take care of yourself well, without holding anyone else in contempt.

8. Give of yourself, but never sacrifice or compromise yourself. Stop if resentment is building and retool. Don’t do the martyr thing. It helps no one and nothing.

9. Remember that everyone you encounter was created by divine intelligence and has an important role to play in the universe. Treat them as such.

10. If you want to keep growing emotionally and spiritually for the rest of your life, accept this as your mantra and try to live as if it were true: Everything that I experience from another human being is either love, or a call for love.

A Truly Happy New Year To Us All.

I will Be Light

Matisyahu--I Will Be Light
"Sit back
And in these days
Remember my ways
Oh will i get out of my cage?
Yes i am a slave

Searching for some freedom
Searching for some freedom

So intend to sing them
Songs to spark memories
What is a man with no history?
Where am i ?
Who am i ?
What is this place?
We're just spinning in space

I will be light
I will be light
I will be light
I will be light

Time will continue without you
So in the end
Its not about you
But
What did you do?
Who do you love besides you
Beside you many died in the name of vanity
Many diein their mind`s eye for justice
We die for you
And still do
So i say to you
This is nothing new

I will be light
I will be light
I will be light
I will be light

Its/in one tiny moment in time
For life to shine to shine
Burn away the darkness

you`ve got one tiny moment in time (X7)
for life to shine to shine
to burn away the darkness

I will be light
I will be light
I will be light
I will be light light light light
I will be light
I will be light light light light "

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

— Bill Cosby

Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.

— Kahlil Gibran

“Be courageous. It’s one of the only places left uncrowded.”

—	Anita Roddick

The world is simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.

— Henry Miller

I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the Earth. Then I ask myself the same question.

— Harun Yahya

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.

— Hafiz

Transforming Sadness and Depression: The First Thing

There was a Sufi mystic who remained happy his whole life- no one had ever seen him unhappy- who was always laughing, who was laughter, whose whole being was a perfume of celebration.

In his old age, when he was dying- on his deathbed and still enjoying, laughing hilariously- a disciple asked, “You puzzle us. You are still laughing; how are you managing it?”

The old man said, “It is simple. I asked my master. I went to my master as a young man; I was only seventeen and already miserable, and my master was old, seventy, and he was sitting under a tree, laughing for no reason at all. There was nobody there, nothing has happened, nobody had cracked a joke or anything, and he was simply laughing, holding his belly. I asked him, ‘What is the matter with you? Are you mad or something?’

“He said, ‘One day I was also as sad as you are. Then it dawned on me that it is my choice, it is my life.’ Since that day, every morning when I get up the first thing I decide is… before I open my eyes I say to myself, ‘Abdullah’”-that was his name-“‘what do you want? Misery? Blissfulness? what are you going to choose today?’ And it happens that I always choose blissfulness.”

— Osho, Emotional Wellness

Stay True

Thursday--Stay True
"Kid, you need some thicker skin,
You don't take punches well.
You're just like your old man
But you're young and scared.
You're weak in your beliefs
And you've got so much to prove
And not a lot of time
Before they get to you.

So please, Stay True.

Yeah, you stick up for your friends
And you've got a lot of heart.
You remind me of myself
Before I lost my nerve.

I've been counting my mistakes.
I can see all that we've lost
And I don't want to talk
About the old days.

Disregard those clapping hands.
They'll turn to punches when you're down.
Disregard the critics' praise.
They'll be the first to tell the news
That you've sold your soul.
Disregard those dollar signs.
They'll buy the biggest house in hell
Where you'll live alone.
Just keep your head down,
Keep your friends close,
Hold fast to your beliefs
And, whatever else you do,
Stay True.
Believe me, when I say,
It's the hardest thing to do.
Stay True.
They'll kill you by inches.
Don't let them make a move.
Stay True.
Look me in the eye
And promise me one thing:
Stay True.
Nothing else matters.
None of this is real.

Disregard the cynics' path.
They'll buy a drink and laugh with you
While you trade defeats.
Disregard your fear of death.
We've all got a lot to lose.
Whatever else you do,
Stay True."

10 things

No Gurantees

Even when you can’t be certain of what it is, you can be sure that there’s a way forward. Even when there are no guarantees, there are plenty of reasons to be confident.

When the situation is far from perfect, that’s the perfect time to make progress. For when there is much to be desired, there is much that can be accomplished.

Adversity does not prevent or preclude achievement. On the contrary, it is when things are not right that there is the greatest motivation to make improvements.

Stop wishing or waiting for conditions to be perfect. Accept and embrace the situation for what it is, and get busy making positive use of it.

When things go wrong, that’s not the time to complain. It’s the time to innovate and commit to making valuable improvements.

When there’s much that must be done, that’s the very definition of opportunity. Make the effort to make things better, and you can make things great.

— Ralph Marston

Read more: http://greatday.com/#ixzz1hl7BmKhJ

Causeless Happiness

CAUSELESS HAPPINESS: We are told that everything that happens is the result of something else that happened before it, in time. We are told that time exists. And we tend not to question this. The organ housed inside the skull that you sometimes think is you is stuck in time. Our so-called "education" system tells us that everything is occurring according to some sort of system of cause and effect. And that makes perfect sense - to the brain anyway.

When the mind is quiet and and the consciousness transcends the limitations of the body, one enters into a state of causeless happiness - and this discovery sort of turns everything else one has been lead to believe on its head. The discovery of this causeless happiness has a cause, sure. But the happiness itself is causeless. Causeless happiness. But don't take my word for it. Check it out.

There is a bliss that is transcendent of this trap of buying and selling, chasing after this and that, pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain. There is a bliss that is always there, and always here, unchanging while simultaneously always unfolding. To meet that bliss is to meet yourself. To realize the Self is to know freedom, true freedom. But don't believe me. Don't take my word for it. Don't cheat yourself of this beautiful experience, firsthand. Realize the Self and be free.

Peace,

Eric Allen Bell

Never separate the life you live from the words you speak.

— Paul Wellstone

There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.

— Aldous Huxley

The Maha Santa laus Sutra

Note: If Santa Claus was a Buddhist, this is what he might look like in a Buddhist text or "sutra"... ]

Thus have I heard. At one time the Buddha was staying in the Jeta Grove monastery of Anathapindaka’s Garden at Shravasti, together with a large assembly of twelve hundred and fifty monks, who were all great arhats, well-known to the people. Among them were great disciples such as the Elders Shariputra, Mahamaudgalyayana, Mahakashyapa, Mahakatyayana, Mahakausthila, Revata, Shuddhipanthaka, Nanda, Ananda, Rahula, Gavampati, Pindola-Bharadvaja, Kalodayin, Mahakapphina, Vakkula and Aniruddha. He was also accompanied by many bodhisattva-mahasattvas, such as the Dharma Prince, Manjushri, the Bodhisattva Ajita, and the Bodhisattva Constant Endeavor. Also present were King Brahma, lord of the saha world, and his followers, twelve thousand sons of gods, the eight dragon kings, the four gandharva kings, the four asura kings, the four garuda kings, and King Ajatashatru, the son of Queen Vaidehi, with several hundreds of thousands of followers.¹

At that time, the Buddha said to the Elder Ananda: “If you travel northward from here, passing a hundred thousand asamkhya kotis of Buddha-lands, you will come to a workshop where dwells a Bodhisattva of the tenth-stage named Mahāsānthaklaṣ (Santa Claus), who even now is in a state of deep samadhi.”

“Ananda, why is that Bodhisattva called Santa Claus? In the distant past — innumerable, incalculable and inconceivable kalpas ago there lived a Brahmin named Nikholāṣ (Nicholas). At that time, Nicholas encountered a Buddha named Joy of Gift Giving, who expounded the Dharma. Nicholas was so deeply moved by the teachings he renounced the householder life and made a series of great vows:”

1. To attain the samadhi of knowing who is naughty and who is nice.
2. To attain the samadhi of being able to visit all houses in one night.
3. To attain the samadhi of being able to hear all gifts requested for.
4. To provide a joyous winter holiday to children everywhere.

Then the Buddha said to Ananda, “Having spoken these verses, Nicholas adopted the pure practices which led to the establishment of a splendid workshop in the North Pole. At that moment, the entire earth shook in six ways, and a rain of wonderful flowers fell from heaven, scattering everywhere. Spontaneous music was heard, and a voice in the sky said, ‘Surely you will attain the highest, perfect Enlightenment.’”

Ananda then said to the Buddha, “Can you describe this workshop to us?”

The Buddha said to Ananda, “Well said, Ananda. I am very pleased with your question. You have shown profound wisdom and subtle insight in asking me this question out of compassion for all sentient beings.

“At Santa Claus’s workshop, there are seven-jeweled ponds, filled with water of the eight excellent qualities. The beds of the ponds are covered solely with gold sand, and from the four sides of each pond rise stairs of gold, silver, beryl and crystal. Above these stand workbenches adorned with gold, silver, beryl, crystal, sapphire, rosy pearls, and carnelian. Besides these ponds are Christmas Trees hundreds, thousands, millions of yojanas tall — the blue ones radiating a blue light, the yellow a yellow light, the red a red light and the white ones a white light. They are marvelous and beautiful, fragrant and pure.

“At each workbench, bodhisattvas whose light emits for one hundred yojanas around their body, toil away day and night making toys and gifts for the children of the world. All the bodhisattvas in the land of Santa Claus will ultimately attain the Stage of Becoming a Buddha After One More Life.

“Ananda, why is this sutra called the Maha Santa Claus Sutra?”

“Ananda, if sons and daughters of good families should, on the 24th night of the twelfth month, leave an offering of milk and cookies and recite this mantra:

Om, maha-santa-klas-ho-ho-ho hum!

Then Santa Claus will fly to their house, as easily as one extends their arm, in a chariot pulled by his eight reindeer attendants, and leave behind a great cart of the seven treasures. Such a disciple will receive an inexhaustible quantity of goods to meet their material needs, thus enabling them to follow the Dharma more easily.”

“Ananda, just as I now praise the inconceivable virtue of Santa Claus Bodhisattva, the Buddhas of the Ten Directions also praise my inconceivable virtue, saying, ‘Shakyamuni Buddha, you have accomplished an extremely difficult and unprecedented task. In this Saha world, during the evil period of the five defilements you have attained the highest, perfect Enlightenment and, for the sake of sentient beings, have delivered this teaching, which is most difficult in the world to accept in faith.’”

When the Buddha delivered this sutra, Ananda and all the monks, together with beings of the whole world, including devas, humans and asuras, rejoiced at what they had heard and reverently accepted it. Having worshiped him, they departed.

Have a Merry and Joyous Christmas too all!

LINK

one of th coolest things ever

Ted Talks: Love

Bliss is possible only when the mind is put aside ↘

“Bliss is possible only when the mind is put aside, when the mind is no more interfering, when the mind is no more playing its games, when you have seen the strategies of the mind, its tricks, through and through, when you have become aware of how the mind has been deceiving you for so long. And don’t fight with the mind, because if you fight with the mind… That is its last strategy; if you fight with the mind you have to remain entangled with it. If you have to fight with the mind you have to use the same tactics as the mind.

So the whole art is seeing through and through, and then without any fight simply putting it aside; just slipping out of it as a snake slips out of its old skin, without any fight. And the moment it happens, for the first time you feel that you are infinite. It was the mind that was giving you a definition, a limitation. It was the mind that was framing you, otherwise you are the unframed sky.

And the moment limitations disappear bliss arises. Bliss is freedom, freedom from all limitations. The body is a limitation, but it is easy to know that ‘I am not the body.’ You can feel it very easily, that you are not the body. When you are feeling hungry you know that hunger is in the body and you are a watcher. When you feel thirsty you know that the thirst is in the body and you are the watcher. When you drink water and the thirst is quenched you know that the body is satisfied and you are the watcher.

It is more difficult with the mind because it is very close. Somebody insults you and you become angry; to watch in that moment seems very difficult. You are so enraged that you forget all about watchfulness. And those are the moments in which to be aware. When anger possesses you, greed possesses you, lust possesses you, be watchful. Go on reminding yourself ‘I am not this.’ Keep your coolness. And you will be surprised that if you can keep your coolness even for a few seconds, the anger disappears like a cloud that has come and gone. And a great peace arises, the peace that is always there when the storm goes, the silence that follows the storm.

When lust takes possession of you watch and see, soon it will be gone. Nothing remains forever, in the mind everything is continuously changing. Just wait and watch, and when it is gone you will feel so strengthened, so full of vigour, so full of energy that you will be surprised. And this is the energy that could have been lost in lust, in anger, in greed.

And when you go on becoming more and more full of energy. When you start overflowing with energy great delight arises. Energy, overflowing energy, is a delight. It is bliss. And when you have come to know the inexhaustible source of energy within you that is no-mind, you have discovered god. It is not somewhere in the skies, it is within you. It is your very being.”

— Osho, Fingers Pointing to the Moon

Remember that life develops what it demands – the toughest path creates the strongest warrior. Pray not for a lighter load, but for stronger shoulders.

— Dan Millman

Stop Seeking Approval

One of the biggest obstacles to people improving their self esteem is their constant need for approval by others

They feel that unless someone tells them what a great job they did or how wonderful they are then they’re just not good enough. They don't believe in themselves so they need to find someone else who will.

The problem with this is that until you believe in yourself, it will never matter what someone else says because the most important person doesn't believe it, You.

You'll constantly look for more and more people to tell you that you're valuable. The search will continue until you find that one person who agrees with what you truly believe about yourself; that you're really a fraud or a failure. Then, it wouldn't matter if a million people said wonderful things about you, you would only remember the person that had spoken negative comments.

It's In You
The approval you really need to find is from yourself and this can only begin once you stop searching for approval in others and take the time to heal yourself.

Often even just the awareness of your actions will provide you with a great deal of healing. Be sure to take the time to explore your feelings and learn why and where it's coming from. Once you do that then you'll most likely find that you no longer need approval from others for that particular feeling.

Freedom
The moment when you suddenly realize that you don’t need anyone else’s approval is incredible. There is a sudden peace inside of you which will make you absolutely giddy with joy. It’s like you’ve suddenly woken up from a nightmare and you’re now free to just be you. Your whole life will be completely different. You may find that for the first time in your life, you understand what it means to feel "content" and "happy".

But, how do you get to the point where you can let go of needing approval from others? If it's something you've been doing your whole life, you may not even be aware that you're doing it.

How Do You Seek Approval From Others?
It starts with being aware of how you might be seeking approval from others. For example:

Are you hesitant to give your opinion on something until you know how others feel about it? When you make excuses do you do it to make yourself look better? Do you ask everyone else for their opinion before you’ll make a decision? Do you worry excessively about what to wear? Do you tune out what others are saying because you’re trying to think of what you’re going to say so that you appear knowledgeable or funny or clever? Do you find that you’re self conscious a lot and worry about what to say? Are you afraid to say "No" because of what people might think of you? Are you constantly trying to please people? Do you buy things so that people will think more highly of you? Do you do activities just to impress others? These are just some of the more common ways you may be searching for approval from others. READ MORE HERE

How To Beat Holiday Blues

It is terribly ironic that the holidays, which is meant to be a time for celebration, joy, family, loved ones, connection, harmony and contentment, brings sadness and depression to so many people. Why is this the case? Perhaps because those who suffer from the holiday blues are seeing their world through the eyes of the past, focusing on the disappointments, the losses, the rejections, the abandonments of the past and bringing them into the present, and feeling their devastating emotional impact as if they happened yesterday.

Perhaps because those who suffer from the holiday blues look at their current life situation and perceive it as empty and lonely, lacking in loving, nurturing relationships, lacking in meaningful, supportive family bonds, lacking in personal fulfillment, lacking in health and happiness. Perhaps because those who suffer from the holiday blues fear the future will deliver them more of the same. More loneliness. More alienation. More frustration. More regret. More pain and suffering. So what do we do about it?

REFUSE THE BLUES

Best we not focus on the disappointments of the past. When thoughts of the past pop into our mind, we give them no power to terrorize us. We gently tell them to go away and haunt someone else. We don't want those thoughts anymore. We don't need them for our safety or protection. We don't wish to victimize ourselves anymore with painful memories.

Best we not focus on the potential disappointments of the future. When anxious, fearful thoughts about the future pop into our mind, we give them no power to terrorize us. We gently tell them to go away and haunt someone else. We don't want those thoughts anymore. We don't need to dwell on all the horrible "what ifs" that might someday happen. We don't need to fill our mind with anticipatory thoughts of failure, loneliness, pain and suffering possibly yet to come. We don't wish to victimize ourselves anymore with the belief that we will not be able to handle what our life's future has to offer.

BE HERE NOW. BE LOVE NOW.

The above subhead are two titles from books by Ram Dass, whose spiritual journeys he has distilled into these two phrases of powerful wisdom. The best way to overcome the holiday blues or any blues for that matter is to BE HERE NOW: Be in the present. Appreciate that in this present moment is massive potential for happiness and contentment. In this present moment we can look at the beauty of nature all around us. In this present moment we can marvel at the miracle of life in all its myriad forms, animal, vegetable and mineral. In this present moment we can BE LOVE NOW: We can help a stranger, hug a friend, ease someone else's pain, share a laugh or a smile, see the love in everyone despite how they're behaving, forgive others for they know not what they do, accept the Oneness of life despite the differences and diversity that sometimes can seem quite disorienting or frightening, appreciate the connection we have to the earth, to the wind and water, to all creatures big and small, and above all else, to each other.

ABOVE ALL ELSE: LOVE YE ONE ANOTHER

There is great joy to be had in this world, in our present moments despite not having the relationships, position and possessions we desire, by simply connecting with others. Making eye contact with others. Extending acceptance, tolerance, love and forgiveness to others. Do these things on a daily basis. What you give to others you can't keep from yourself. What you give to others will come back to you.

--Global One TV

The more you struggle to live, the less you live. Give up the notion that you must be sure of what you are doing. Instead, surrender to what is real within you, for that alone is sure….you are above everything distressing.

— Spinoza

In the end, these things matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?

— Buddha

Live Your Heart and Never Follow

Hot Water Music--Its Hard to Know

"Couldn't help but cry when we were brought to life.
Drug out to the cold, and slapped a few times
to the rhythm, and the flickering lights,
we tightly close our eyes.
we grow to either be or hate whats cold, and thats where we lean to know...

To run! Don't follow!
Live your life the best you know!

It's hard to find a way through the darkness!
It's hard to know what to believe!
But if you live by your heart, and value the love that you find,
then you'll have all you'll need...

To run! Don't follow!
Live your life the best you know!

Let's talk about an independent stand.
Let's talk about free form thought.
It's not about living under command...
So don't get caught!(hey!)

Get knocked down, I'm gonna get back up!
(Live your heart and never follow!)
A three story mansion can't cover it up!
(Live your heart and never follow!)
I'm breaking into pieces as it breaks and falls!
(Live your heart and never follow!)
I'll take on every day, standing up, standing tall!
(Live your heart and never follow!)

Live your heart and never follow."

Natrual High: Chris Malloy

Coping with Loss

Coping with grief and loss tip 1: Get support

The single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.

Finding support after a loss

• Turn to friends and family members – Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Draw loved ones close, rather than avoiding them, and accept the assistance that’s offered. Oftentimes, people want to help but don’t know how, so tell them what you need – whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or help with funeral arrangements.

• Draw comfort from your faith – If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you – such as praying, meditating, or going to church – can offer solace. If you’re questioning your faith in the wake of the loss, talk to a clergy member or others in your religious community.

• Join a support group – Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers.

• Talk to a therapist or grief counselor – If your grief feels like too much to bear, call a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.

Coping with grief and loss tip 2: Take care of yourself

When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.

• Face your feelings. You can try to suppress your grief, but you can’t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

• Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a scrapbook or photo album celebrating the person’s life; or get involved in a cause or organization that was important to him or her.

• Look after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. When you feel good physically, you’ll also feel better emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. Don’t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.

• Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready.

• Plan ahead for grief “triggers.” Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. If you’re sharing a holiday or lifecycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.

READ MORE

“It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

watch this. now.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”

-John Lennon

Natural High: Toby Morse

“Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have”
― Henry Rollins

Thank You.

ive gotten some really amazing support and thank yous from people lately for this site. im so glad its been of even a little help, and thank you for you support and encouragement. this is helping me just as much as anybody else, if not more, and i have so much thanks for being able to do this and for you guys reaching out to some rando who spends too much time on the internet.

so thank you.

-obieposi

WikiHOW: Develop Self Esteem

Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. We think little of ourselves, and feel we do not deserve to be happy. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life. You gain this confidence by believing that you are unique, you are special, and that you deserve to have your dreams come true!



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City and Colour--Against the Grain

City and Colour--Against the Grain

You need not, to climb mountaintops
You need not, to cross the sea
You need not, to find a cure
for everything that makes you weak.

You need not to reach for the stars,
when life becomes so dark
and when the wind
does blow against the grain
you must follow your heart
you must follow your heart

when all your friends
have come and gone
the sun no longer shines
the happiness for which you long
is washed away, like an oceans tide
when all the hard times, outweigh the good
and all your words are misunderstood

when the day seems lost from the stars
you must follow your heart
you must follow your heart

If you feel, you paid the price
and your wounds should cease to heal
and everything you love in life,
spins like a winding wheel
if you should wake, to find you're abandoned.
and the road you travel, leads to a dead end

when death creeps in, to play it's part.
you must you follow your heart
you must follow your heart

Make Life Good

Your resentment gives more power and influence to whatever you resent. Is that really what you want?

There’s no reason why a negative situation has to make you negative. You always have plenty of other options.

You don’t have to let your attitude be poisoned by other people, situations, or events. You can choose a positive, powerful perspective no matter what.

You don’t have to let your life be thrown into a turmoil by every little thing that happens. Instead, you can decide to be directed by a deep and abiding sense of true purpose.

Remember who you are, and why you are, and what’s important to you. Focus a little more on what matters, and a little less on what just arbitrarily comes your way.

Live on purpose, live with purpose, and with constant, loving attention to that purpose. You can make life good in your own way no matter what.

— Ralph Marston

Read more: http://greatday.com/#ixzz1gcvRt9hf

I just went there.

everybody likes kelly clarkson. cmon. admit it.

Dear Oberlin, Its the Begginning of Finals

One Day

Matisyahu--One Day
"Sometimes I lay under the moon
And I thank God I'm breathin'
Then I pray don't take me soon
'Cause I am here for a reason

Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know someday it'll all turn around because

All my life I been waitin' for
I been prayin' for, for the people to say
That we don't want to fight no more
They'll be no more wars
And our children will play, one day

It's not about win or lose 'cause we all lose
When they feed on the souls of the innocent blood
Drenched pavement keep on movin'
Though the waters stay ragin'
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/matisyahu-lyrics/one-day-lyrics.html]

And in this life you may lose your way
It might drive you crazy
But don't let it phase you, no way

Sometimes in my tears I drown
But I never let it get me down
So when negativity surrounds
I know someday it'll all turn around because

All my life I been waitin' for
I been prayin' for, for the people to say
That we don't want to fight no more
They'll be no more wars
And our children will play, one day

One day this all will change
Treat people the same
Stop with the violence down with the hate
One day we'll all be free and proud
To be under the same sun
Singing songs of freedom like"

Natural High: Dillon Perillo

Wisdom for Modern Life by Daisaku Ikeda

Your happiness and victory in life hinge on whether you can grasp, while you are still young, the fact that happiness lies within. That's why there is no need for you to compare yourselves to others but instead strive powerfully and cheerfully to develop your state of life, aiming to improve yourselves each day. From that struggle will bloom noble flowers of mission, flowers of happiness that are yours and yours alone. Shine as you are, live true to yourselves, and advance in your own unique way.

“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

Meditation Tip of the Day

Seriousness belongs to the ego
and leads to self-importance.
Sincerity is of the heart, it is totality,
it is a love affair with life.
Dharma

❝

Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.

— Gilles Chamboraire

Clever clever

For Finals: The Hanuman Chalisa

It's said that chanting Hanuman Chalisa defeats all evils and gives us strength and peace.

The Best Day

5 Easy Ways to Reduce Stress

Sue Frederick

In our fast paced world, stress is something we live with - day in and day out. It isn't going away. We need to learn to live with it - and get the upper hand. Or it will take its toll on our health.


Stress is defined as our reaction to the external environment as well as our inner thoughts and feelings. It isn't only what happens to us that creates stressful feelings, but it's how we feel about what happens to us. Learning to control our thoughts through meditation, yoga, and other mind quieting techniques can be very helpful in reducing stress levels. Like the Buddhists say, become the calm in the center of the storm.

No one can live without experiencing some degree of stress all the time, according to Hans Selye, M.D., the father of modern stress research. He writes in his book, The Stress of Life: "Stress is not even necessarily bad for you; it is also the spice of life, for any emotion, any activity causes stress. But, of course, your system must be prepared for it."

During times of increased stress, our body's nutrients are used more rapidly to meet these needs so we require increased amounts of many of these nutrients. The antioxidant vitamins A, E and C, the B vitamins and the mineral zinc, selenium, calcium, magnesium, iron, potassium, sulfur and molybdenum are some of the nutrients that are commonly depleted by stress.

Fortunately there are a number of ways to prepare the body for stress. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Meditate, pray, or do yoga each morning. The simple technique of quieting the mind, following the breath, and relaxing the body can put you in the right frame of mind for getting through a stressful day with a positive mental attitude.
At Work. During the day the stress mounts, whether at home or at your place of work. This can result in tension, headaches, back pain or lack of focus and general unproductivity. A few simple ways to help reduce these stress symptoms is to: Change your position or take a quick walk around the office, drink some water, stretch, or do a yoga exercise. One great way to accomplish this is right on your computer, Reduce Stress at Your Desk on Holistic.com has 4 free different streaming video exercises designed to be done in your chair that target your neck, back, shoulders and upper back. They run from 4-6 minutes each and have proven to be effective. 2. Exercise. Walking 20 minutes per day can change body chemistry in a way that calms the nervous system and reduces stress levels. Aerobic exercise is especially good for producing endorphins in the body - which are natural soothing hormones released during sustained exercise.

3. Make dietary changes. Reducing sugar, carbohydrates, caffeine and alcohol in your diet can go a long way towards getting your body back into a healthful balance. It's now recognized that when we eat carbohydrates, these foods turn directly into sugar in our bodies. The more sugar we eat, the more depleted our B-vitamins become. B-vitamins are essential for a healthy nervous system. 4. Supplement with vitamins and minerals. Taking a daily multi-vitamin, mineral supplement and B-vitamin supplement can strengthen your nervous system whether you're already depleted by stress or storing up for an onslaught of stressful circumstances. The mineral calcium is especially helpful for calming the nerves and toning up the nervous system. Athletes preparing for a race understand that extreme physical activity can be stressful and boost their bodies with nutrients beforehand. Take 3,000 mg of Vitamin C per day to help maintain a healthy nervous system while under stress. 5. Use herbs in tincture and tea form to calm yourself:

The Ginsengs: Both Panax ginseng (Korean ginseng) and Siberian ginseng (Eleutherococcus senticosus) have been shown in numerous studies to support adrenal function and enhance resistance to stress. Both Ginsengs are adaptogens, which means they restore balance, stimulating a function when it is low, subduing it when high. Both can be used to restore vitality, increase feelings of energy and well being, increase mental and physical performance and enhance the body's response to stress.

Valerian: clinical studies have shown valerian's ability to relieve insomnia, decreasing time needed to fall asleep while increasing deep sleep.

Kava Kava: European studies have found Kava effective in the treatment of nervous anxiety, insomnia, restlessness as well as reduce heart palpitations, chest pains, headache and gastric irritation.

Enjoy a cup of herbal tea at night. Create a bedtime ritual of drinking chamomile tea to relax. Or try an herbal liquid tincture sleep formula containing chamomile.

Homeopathic remedies are scientifically proven effective and side-effect free. Try one of the many sleep formulas on the market that contain chamomilla and other sleep inducing remedies.

From Estes--Mental Health Opportnities

Dear Students,

I hope this email finds you well as we begin the big push to the end of the semester. I wanted to let you know about an important search that is just getting underway. With the retirement of the former director, the Division of Student Life will be hiring a new director of the Counseling Center and Student Health Services.

Issues of mental health specifically and health and wellness generally have been at the forefront of our community's consciousness this semester. The new director will play a critical, leading role in helping to construct a strategic vision for the discourse and work on mental and physical health and wellness as our community moves forward. The search committee, including significant student representation, is starting its work and will need your support.

How can you participate? The search committee co-chairs will be holding an initial listening session to hear the voices of students. Information is as follows: Friday, December 9th, at 3 p.m. in Wilder 115. Please come and share your thoughts and concerns. We want to hear from you. Student representatives on the search committee will also conduct a listening session early next semester. I know this is a busy time for students. There will be ample opportunity to provide thoughts and concerns into next semester. If you can't come to this initial listening session the co-chairs of the search committee dean Lori Morgan Flood (lori.flood@oberlin.edu) and professor Meredith Raimondo (meredith.raimondo@oberlin.edu

) still want to hear from you. You can email them thoughts and concerns anytime including over break and into next semester. You can also email me (eric.estes@oberlin.edu) as well. Your input will be heard, kept confidential, and taken to heart.

Students will also play a central role when candidates come to campus. Each candidate will have the opportunity to meet with and share their experiences and vision with students at multiple sessions. I have had the great opportunity of interviewing twice at Oberlin. My sessions with students were the most important, challenging, and valuable each time.

I know that this continues to be a challenging time for all of us. As a community we need to talk more openly about mental and emotional health and make resources as knowable and visible as possible. Since the start of the year, I have had the honor meeting with and listening to the hopes and concerns of many students. My door is always open. Out of those conversations and in collaboration with groups like Active Minds and Student Senate that were already at work, there are a number of things that have been under development this semester. Last Thursday more than 50 students gathered for the first in what will be an ongoing series of open forums on mental, emotional, and physical health. These forums, moderated by students for students, will raise awareness, but also identify important opportunities for action. There are also student plans underway for a public arts project focused on mental health. I am also excited about working with and supporting Active Minds as they tal!
k with the Counseling Center on a potential peer to peer support program. Senate has also been collecting feed back from students all semester on health issues broadly defined and I look forward to learning from their important work. There are also collaborative plans underway to use new and traditional media to make resources more visible for students. In the interim, if you are not sure where to go related to resources, your class dean is always a good place to start.

If you are interested in learning more or getting involved, feel free to contact me(eric.estes@oberlin.edu), but especially your fellow students: Active Minds co-chairs Brenna Larson(brenna.larson@oberlin.edu) or Katie Malone (kathryn.malone@oberlin.edu), Senators Mandy Hogan(amanda.hogan@oberlin.edu) or Ilyssa Meyer (ilyssa.meyer@oberlin.edu), or organizer extraordinaire Sophie Myers (sophia.myers@oberlin.edu).

These are just some of the opportunities that have emerged this semester. New ideas and constructive suggestions to de-stigmatize health issues and concerns and de-mystify and make visible and accessible resources are always welcome. I look forward to continuing to work with and support students and my colleagues on this critical area of work.

As we head into finals, don't forget about the many stress releasing resources and opportunities to be in supportive community during the next few weeks. Safe travels and have a great winter break.

Best,

Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.

Frank Herbert

Natural High: Terry Kennedy

16 Rules to (try to) live by

1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone. I believe that not much happens of any significance when we're in our comfort zone. I hear people say, "But I'm concerned about security." My response to that is simple: "Security is for cadavers."

2. Never give up. Almost nothing works the first time it's attempted. Just because what you're doing does not seem to be working, doesn't mean it won't work. It just means that it might not work the way you're doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.

3. When you're ready to quit, you're closer than you think. There's an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: "The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."

4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be. Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of "undefined consequences." My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, "Well, Robert, if it doesn't work, they can't eat you."

5. Focus on what you want to have happen. Remember that old saying, "As you think, so shall you be."

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6. Take things a day at a time. No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don't look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

7. Always be moving forward. Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

8. Be quick to decide. Remember what the Union Civil War general, Tecumseh Sherman said: "A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

9. Measure everything of significance. I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.

10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate. If you want to uncover problems you don't know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven't examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you're doing. When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

12. Never let anybody push you around. In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you're doing as anyone else, provided that what you're doing is legal.

13. Never expect life to be fair. Life isn't fair. You make your own breaks. You'll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

14. Solve your own problems. You'll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you'll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: "You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others." There's also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: "A wise man keeps his own counsel."

15. Don't take yourself too seriously. Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

16. There's always a reason to smile. Find it. After all, you're really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: "We're not here for a long time; we're here for a good time."

Courtesy of Bob Parsons

“In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration.”

—	Ansel Adams

Luminaries--Be the Change ft. Trevor Hall

Forgiveness

The Buddha was sitting under a tree talking to his disciples when a man came and spit on his face. He wiped it off, and he asked the man, “What next? What do you want to say next?” The man was a little puzzled because he himself never expected that when you spit on somebody’s face, he will ask, “What next?” He had no such experience in his past. He had insulted people and they had become angry and they had reacted. Or if they were cowards and weaklings, they had smiled, trying to bribe the man. But Buddha was like neither, he was not angry nor in any way offended, nor in any way cowardly. But just matter-of-factly he said, “What next?” There was no reaction on his part.

Buddha’s disciples became angry, they reacted. His closest disciple, Ananda, said, “This is too much, and we cannot tolerate it. He has to be punished for it. Otherwise everybody will start doing things like this.”

Buddha said, “You keep silent. He has not offended me, but you are offending me. He is new, a stranger. He must have heard from people something about me, that this man is an atheist, a dangerous man who is throwing people off their track, a revolutionary, a corrupter. And he may have formed some idea, a notion of me. He has not spit on me, he has spit on his notion. He has spit on his idea of me because he does not know me at all, so how can he spit on me?

“If you think on it deeply,” Buddha said, “he has spit on his own mind. I am not part of it, and I can see that this poor man must have something else to say because this is a way of saying something. Spitting is a way of saying something. There are moments when you feel that language is impotent: in deep love, in intense anger, in hate, in prayer. There are intense moments when language is impotent. Then you have to do something. When you are angry, intensely angry, you hit the person, you spit on him, you are saying something. I can understand him. He must have something more to say, that’s why I’m asking, “What next?”

The man was even more puzzled! And Buddha said to his disciples, “I am more offended by you because you know me, and you have lived for years with me, and still you react.”

Puzzled, confused, the man returned home. He could not sleep the whole night. When you see a Buddha, it is difficult, impossible to sleep again the way you used to sleep before. Again and again he was haunted by the experience. He could not explain it to himself, what had happened. He was trembling all over and perspiring. He had never come across such a man; he shattered his whole mind and his whole pattern, his whole past.

The next morning he was back there. He threw himself at Buddha’s feet. Buddha asked him again, “What next? This, too, is a way of saying something that cannot be said in language. When you come and touch my feet, you are saying something that cannot be said ordinarily, for which all words are a little narrow; it cannot be contained in them.” Buddha said, “Look, Ananda, this man is again here, he is saying something. This man is a man of deep emotions.”

The man looked at Buddha and said, “Forgive me for what I did yesterday.”

Buddha said, “Forgive? But I am not the same man to whom you did it. The Ganges goes on flowing, it is never the same Ganges again. Every man is a river. The man you spit upon is no longer here. I look just like him, but I am not the same, much has happened in these twenty-four hours! The river has flowed so much. So I cannot forgive you because I have no grudge against you.”

“And you also are new. I can see you are not the same man who came yesterday because that man was angry and he spit, whereas you are bowing at my feet, touching my feet. How can you be the same man? You are not the same man, so let us forget about it. Those two people, the man who spit and the man on whom he spit, both are no more. Come closer. Let us talk of something else.”